Going on with my theme of people I am thankful for, I thought I would talk about my grandma on my mom's side. Growing up in my house wasn't always the easiest thing with an alcoholic father and an emotionally unstable mother. It was even harder when they divorced the summer before I went into high school. (Don't worry, this isn't an "oh pity me" post.) There were times I felt abandoned or neglected, and definitely insecure. Luckily, my grandma was always there for me if I needed someone to talk to or lean on. She unconditionally loved me, which is something that I really needed in that time of my life (and now!).

I can remember when I was in basic training and I wasn't performing well on the PT test. I had never been a physically active person, and I had troubles meeting the run times necessary to pass. I called back and told my grandma that if I didn't pass this test, they were going to make me stay back and I was going to have to do basic training all over again. I'd fail. I asked her if she would still love me if I was a failure. She just laughed softly and told me she'd love me no matter what happened, and that it wasn't important to her if I passed or not. It's hard to describe the despair I was feeling at that time with out launching into a huge, long story, but my grandma helped lift that for me.

When I found out I was pregnant with my son, my grandparents never said anything negative to me. They were supportive, and happy for me. I was sitting at their house, six weeks pregnant, when I realized that Bryan wasn't going to call me back. That he was gone, for good, without even a word. I remember curling up on the couch and denying it, "No, Grandma, I'm sure he'll call. I know it's been a week. But he's been really busy with the Marines. I know he's coming home for Thanksgiving, and he'll call me. He will." I remember later that night, crying myself to sleep, when I realized he wasn't going to call.

When I told them I was pregnant with my daughter, they had such joy on their face. They didn't consider my kids a burden. They considered them a gift, as I do. So many people have that look flit across their face. "You're too young, you don't make enough money, you shouldn't have kids, you aren't married, you have no idea what you are doing, you are irresponsible." My grandparents never looked at me like that. They were just happy for me.

I'm extremely thankful that I've had my grandma, and my grandpa, on my side. I'm grateful that they love me, unconditionally. I'm thankful for all the times they've been there for me, particularly my grandmother. I'm thankful for the days she'd take me to the library, on my whim, so I could get more books. I'm thankful for the times she let me run over from her house to my "boyfriend's" house when I was in middle school. I'm thankful that she taught me to drive at the tender young age of... oh... eight?

Now, I live far away from them (four hours driving), and don't get to see them nearly as often as I'd like. I talk to my grandma two or more times a week on the phone, and chat with grandpa as well. They give me comfort and help relieve my stress. They give me advice and help me to realize my priorities. I love you Grandma. I love you Grandpa. Thank you.

Labels: thankful thursday