Thankful Thursday
October 11, 2003. I was nineteen and drunk. In a haze of loud music and swirling bodies, I came to the conclusion that I really loved the boy I was standing next to, and I decided to tell him. With a light laugh and an ecstatic smile, I grabbed him by the arm and we quickly walked outside to lean against the building and kiss. People were walking by, so we ran to the back of the building.
Six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I'd had a suspicion -- no, I'd known. I'd known the instant it happened. I just didn't want to believe it was possible.
Neither did he. A week after I told him, he disappeared. Gone. Didn't answer my phone calls. I didn't have an address for him because he was in the Marine Corps for training, moving around, and since I talked to him every night on the phone for hours, I didn't really think an address was all that necessary. I called his mom, but she wouldn't talk to me.
A month later I found out he was home on leave. I called his mom's house and threw a raging pregnant fit on the phone, cursing her out for not letting me talk to him. She conceded. He got on the phone and agreed to a meeting.
At the meeting he told me he wasn't interested in being with me, he wasn't interested in being dad.
I'm thankful that at that pivotal moment in my life, barely four weeks after my best friend died of a heart attack, I made the right decision. I made the decision that an abortion was out of the question (boy, did he look crushed). I made the decision to not seek adoption. I made the decision that I was going to do right by my unborn child.
And I have.

I don't regret a single moment. Well, I lie. I regret the countless nights that I spent crying myself to sleep over
him. He was never worth it. Too bad it took me nearly two years to figure that out.
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Thankful Thursday hosted by Lois at Life is Just a Stitch in Time.
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