My kids amuse me with how they choose to play. We don't have many electronic toys in the house (they require batteries, and I enjoy things that take elbow grease), and they are not allowed to watch very much television (I'd like to cut back more). I'm going to start staying home with them after I graduate (we'll see how long that lasts - depends totally on cash flow) and this means they'll have even more educational opportunities and outside free play. As it is, they things they come up with amuse me heartily on a daily basis.

One morning I walked out into my living room and my candelabra had a car sitting on top of each squat pomegranate red candle. Each car was facing the same direction, as if they had been put very precisely in their assigned places. I think they actually had.

---

I love my kids. They've changed and enhanced my life in so many ways it is uncountable. I was harsh, critical, unyielding, opinionated, and broken inside. Now I'm semi-harsh, semi-critical, semi-un... Okay. So maybe on the outside I haven't changed as much as I have on the inside. Growing up, I couldn't see a purpose. I had no idea what I was supposed to do or who I was supposed to be. Coming from a broken home, my examples were not very good. Not only had my parents divorced, but my grandparents, great-grandparents, my aunt, and family friends had gotten divorced at some point. I wasn't used to very much stability.

I decided I was going to make a purpose for myself - to jump in front of a bullet if necessary, for my country. For that person walking down the street who had know idea what my name is. Melodramatic? Maybe, but that was my reasoning. I had no family (kids, boyfriend), so why shouldn't I do it? I enlisted in the Army National Guard a month after my 17th birthday. I spent six years in, and never had to jump in front of a bullet. I had to unholster my 9mm once on security detail, and that was the only time other than practice or range fire that I'd had a loaded weapon and intended to fire it. I didn't have to, thankfully.

When I got out, upon Aaron's request and my own inability to pass the physical tests after having my children, I felt bereft. Who was I? I wasn't kicking ass and taking names anymore (or as we used to put it, kicking butts and sexin' sluts). When someone asked, "Who are you?" my first answer was always, "I'm a soldier." Who am I now? "I'm a soldier. And a mom." Yet... Yet, I'm not a soldier. I'm not in, anymore. I still dream about it. I still grab my PT shirt and wear it around the house, snuggled up in comfort and warmth. I think about Drill Sergeant Cory Jellison and Drill Sergeant Browning, and I think about the long internal and external struggles on a night when I swear to God I just couldn't march any more. I think about failing my PT test over and over again, until the day that I didn't. I think about the pride in DS Jellison's voice as another one of his recruits made it.

Then I think about how I gave up; how I quit. Who am I?

I'm just not entirely sure anymore, but I do know that I want to explore that Mommy option. I want to stay home with my children, teach them, homeschool them, play with them. I want to do the laundry, wear a sun dress, and hang it up to dry outside, barefoot, with a glass of lemonade from the full pitcher sitting on the deck. I want to plant my garden, and I want to harvest each item. Then I want to freeze or can them.

I want to make my own clothes, and eventually I want to shear a goat (is that what you do? shear?) and comb and spin the wool and knit a hat.

I want to live sustainably and happily. I want to be content with myself - not just with a role (soldier/mommy). I want to love my life simply and open heartedly.

And I want to do it all while being a kickass mother, wife, and most importantly - a kickass Jen.

Labels: marriage, mommy blogging

Reception 90s:

Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
All For Love - Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, Sting
Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
Blue (Da Ba Dee) - Eiffel 65
C'mon N'Ride it (The Train) - Quad City DJs
Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex
The Freshman - The Verve Pipe
I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
Jump Around - House of Pain
This is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
Whiskey In The Jar - Metallica
With Arms Wide Open - Creed
For the First Time - Kenny Loggins
Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Changes - 2 Pac
Everybody Dance Now - C + C Music Factory
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) - Green Day
California Love - 2Pac
Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang
I'll Be - Edwin McCain
I Saw The Sign - Ace of Base
All I Wanna Do - Sheryl Crow
I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
Macarena

------------

This semester is going to be an interesting one. I'm wrapping up running the subjects for my honors project. I have to start transcribing all the tapes and then coding the data. After that I have to write my paper and defend my project to staff members.

I'm working in the lab 10 hours a week running subjects, calling people, and all the other lab duties I have. (3 credits)

I also have the following classes:

Human Sexuality and Diversity in Society - 3 credits
Human Behavior in the Social Environment - 4 credits
Social and Personality Development - 3 credits
Personality - 3 credits
Psychology Semiar / Social Psychology - 3 credits
Honors Proseminar in Psychology - 1 credit.

That's 17 credits of classes plus 3 credits of lab.

I'm going to be a seriously busy lady.

Labels: marriage

Reception Music (80s):

Thriller - Michael Jackson
Goody Two Shoes - Adam Ant
Karma Chameleon - Culture Club
Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard
Living On A Prayer - Bon Jovi
Tainted Love - Soft cell
Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) - Journey
She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby
Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics
Take My Breath Away - Berlin
Wild Thing - Tone Loc
Take On Me - A-Ha
Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper
Turning Japanese - The Hazies
867-5309/Jenny - Tommy Tutone
Fishin' in the Dark - Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
Sweet Child O'Mine - Guns 'N' Roses
Taking Care of Business - Bachman Turner Overdrive
Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

---------------------------------------------

Me: "Nate, remember that when you and Sammi are done playing, you have to clean up your playroom. Don't make a big mess."
Nate: "Mom, it's too hard to play. I think I need the radio."
Me, laughing: "Okay, Nate. You may turn on the radio."

Nate goes back for his second day of preschool today. His first full day. He's so excited that he's been wearing his Cars backpack since 8 am. "Mommy, I go to preschool!?"

Yes, honey. You are going to preschool.

Where did the time go? Less than five years ago, I had just found out I was pregnant. I was a mix of ecstatic and worried, hopeful and stressed. Now, my baby is growing up. He calls me "mom" and Aaron "dad." No more mommy and daddy. No more mama and dada!

I'm just not ready for this.

Labels: marriage, mommy blogging

Reception Music (70s):

Saturday Night - Bay City Rollers
The Hustle - Van McCoy
Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas
Disco Duck - Rick Dees
That's The Way (I like it) - KC & the Sunshine Band
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
More Than A Feeling - Boston
Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Wildfire - Michael Martin Murphy
You've Got A Friend - James Taylor
- Meatloaf
The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band
Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas
Lady - Styx
Another Brick In the Wall (Part II) - Pink Floyd
Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
You Really Got Me - Van Halen
American Pie - Don McLean
Shes Always A Woman - Billy Joel
Make It With You - Bread
Hotel California - Eagles
YMCA - Village People

-------------------

Nate had a wonderful first day of preschool yesterday. He was most excited to spend time with kids his age and play with playdough and other stuff like that. He's really looking forward to his first full day on Friday.

Labels: marriage, mommy blogging

Continuing with the next decade of reception music: the 60s!

Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations
Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand - The Beatles
What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
(Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay - Otis Redding
Ring Of Fire - Johnny Cash
Devil Or Angel - Bobby Vee
I Heard It Through The Grapevine - Marvin Gaye
Yellow Submarine - The Beatles
Chain Gang - Sam Cooke
Come Together - The Beatles
Can I Have This Dance - Anne Murray
The Wanderer - Dion
I Can't Help Falling In Love With You - Elvis Presley
I Want To Hold Your Hand - The Beatles
Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini - Brian Hyland
Hit The Road Jack - Ray Charles
I Say A Little Prayer For You - cast of My Best Friend's Wedding
Love Me Do - The Beatles
Let's Dance - Chris Montez
You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling - The Righteous Brothers
Please Please Me - The Beatles
The Twist - Chubby Checker
Cha Cha Slide

Pictures are up on our Flickr site! (http://flickr.com/photos/jenaside/sets/72157606835920971/)


Me, Nate, and Sammi

Labels: marriage, mommy blogging

So, I believe the reception went off decently well. I hear the food was good, the beer was good, and we got compliments on the decorations. Aaron's mom ordered five cakes, cookies, and made a Caribbean rum cake. The cake table was pretty loaded - I'm surprised it didn't fall over!

The only bad news was that our music didn't work. We tested out all our CDs on two different CD players, but about half of them wouldn't work on the CD player at the Jewell Golf & Country Club. Bummer!

So, for anyone who wanted to know, I will be posting each decades playlist for the next six days.

We planned on kicking off the dancing with music played by Jim, Aaron's father, in 1982 (he died around 1985/1986).

50s
Moon River - Andy Williams
My Heart Cries For You - Guy Mitchell
The Battle of New Orleans - Johnny Horton
Rag Mop - The Ames Brothers
The Wayward Wind - Gogi Grant
Beer Barrel Polka - Frankie Yankovic
In Heaven There Is No Beer - Frankie Yankovich
Party Doll - Buddy Knox
Bandstand Boogie - Les Elgart
Catch A Falling Star - Perry Como
Put Your Head On My Shoulder - Paul Anka
Long Tall Sally - Little Richard
Great Balls of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis
Wake Up Little Susie - The Everly Brothers
Walking After Midnight - Patsy Cline
Love Potion No. 9 - Herman's Hermits
Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley
Rock Around The Clock - Bill Haley & The Comets
Hokey Pokey
Shout - Isley Brothers

Labels: marriage

The countdown is now at 3 days until our wedding reception. I'm rather excited about it, finally, as things are starting to come together.

Decorations: We have glass floats (I haven't seen them yet) that we'll be hanging around. Each table will have a set of three hurricane glass-looking holders. The first will have white sand with an LED candle in it, covered with a layer of crushed sea shells. The second is filled with two different colors of bath salts topped with a few seashells and a drink umbrella. Raffia is tied around the top and a little metal sandal is danging off of it. The third will have a smattering of seashells on the bottom, filled with water, and orchids with possibly hosta leaves. The three holders will sit on either a bamboo mat or a net mat. Random seashells will be on top of the mat and plastic leis will be sitting on the table for the kids. There's probably more and I'm just forgetting. There will be a basket of cameras for people to take pictures (I think). In addition to the orchids, we will have pots of hibiscus laying around.

Games: Wii Dance Dance Revolution (four players) will be on a big screen TV in a corner of the reception hall for children and adults alike. Board games like Settlers of Cataan and Munchkin will be scattered around for people to play. The kids will also have several different ctivities. First, we have foam sun visors that they can decorate with sea-themed foam stickers. Second, coloring books and crayons. Third, a limbo game. We also have a bean bag game set up (Iowa State versus University of Iowa!).

Music: From 2-5 we will have a variety of different beach related songs. At 5 we kick off with the 50s, and every hour after that will have Aaron and I's favorite songs from each decade. At 11, if anyone is still around, it will switch over to a random smattering of songs.

Slideshow: A slideshow of wedding, honeymoon, and childhood pictures will play, possibly on a loop.

Food and drink: We have two full kegs and a small keg. Budlight, Amberbock, and Blue Moon. These are free. Also some coffee, water, and punch will be provided. All other drinks are pay. Food is jamaican jerk chicken, italian chicken, mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables, fruit salad, and a garden salad. We will also have cake for everyone with a special spiced rum cake (like the one at our wedding!) for Aaron and I. Snacks will also be provided after dinner (which ends at 6).

I'm starting to get so excited! (I know I've left off stuff on this list, too, but hopefully I'll grab pictures of everything and share with you all later!)

Labels: marriage

I know Aaron and I have not been posting much lately (well, he has only posted twice I think ever), and I would feel guilty about that.. but I don't. I know that some people who were checking regularly have probably crossed me off their feeds. I can deal with that. I'm under a lot of stress right now! I have no intentions to quit blogging, and I will be blogging more regularly when the reception is over and I'm moving on with things (I'm sure).

Right now, we have our reception coming up August 16th (and if you are from our family and you lost our registry link - here you go). I'm trying to get my Intermediate German II class wrapped up by August 15th. Then I have to start getting my summer classes under control (I haven't started them and summer semester is almost over!). I'll take an extension on them and will have to have them done by December, while simultaneously taking thirteen fall credits (which will put me at twenty credits total this fall). Ouch! But then I'll be able to graduate and move on with life.

The last half of 2008 will be quite momentous for me. Getting married, getting health insurance, graduating with honors with my BA in psychology, and hopefully getting a job. Wow.

But that isn't what I wanted to talk about.

Aaron and I have rarely ever gone out on dates. When he met me, I was a single mother to a one year old. We went out with his friends a lot, but very rarely every by ourselves. Soon I found myself pregnant (again), and then we were too busy to go out.

I'd like to change that.

I've been researching some innovative and fun ideas for "Date Night" other than the standby - pizza and a movie. Does anyone out here in the vast wildness of the internets have some good quirky and fun ideas for Date Night?

Labels: marriage

I woke up with a start at 7:00 am and ate the most wonderful room service omelet that I'd ever seen or tasted. Aaron had picked out this vegetarian omelet for me and it was absolutely heavenly. Of course, I may very well have just been in a pleasure-coma from actually sleeping for over twelve hours after my deprivation. I probably would have slept for longer, but we had an appointment we just had to keep at 8:00 am with our wedding coordinator, Michele, from Awesome Caribbean Weddings.

The second we stepped out of our cool air-conditioned room into the muggy hotness of St. Lucia for what could be considered the first time, our breath was taken away. A storm was going to roll in, but meanwhile, the island was under what seemed to me to be an oppressive humidity. My camera fogged up immediately and took quite a while to de-fog. All around birds were chirping and singing their songs while vibrant flowers and foilage proved to be a delight for my eyes. I truly was in a different "world."



We met with Michele down in the lobby of Sandals. She was extremely professional and lit up when she discussed our wedding with us. It was evident that this is a job that she enjoys. Her laughter was contaigious and even after the last few days that I'd had, I couldn't help but join in and relax. We explained a little more of what had been going on with Sandals, and she sympathized with us. We discussed a bit of the history of the island and she told us about our wedding location - Pigeon Island. There is an old British Fort on Pigeon Island with old cannons and ruins sprinkled all over. I felt it was a perfect match because of my six years of (American) military service and my love of history. We discussed the specifics of our wedding and exchanged paperwork.



After our three hour meeting with Michele, Aaron and I went to speak with the concierge about our experience with Sandals wedding department thus far. We also set up our tours for the next few days - horseback riding, scuba diving, snorkeling after a half-day catamaran ride, touring a volcano and some botanical gardens, going climbing around in the rainforest, etc. The concierge told us that they'd get back to us with information on what they were going to do about this extra $1,500 charge we never should have had - you see, the wedding department on St. Lucia told us that they absolutely could have done our wedding. It was Unique Vacations that had steered us wrong. They asked us if we would like for Sandals to do the wedding now, but we told them it was too late. We'd already signed a contract and Awesome Caribbean Weddings were working their butts off to make our wedding happen the way we wanted it. That was much better than Unique Vacations response - tough, too bad. We told them that we expected them to do something for us now that we'd had to cough up that extra money in order for us to be happy and to want to come back. But, let's talk about this unpleasantness later...

After we set up all of our tours and lodged our complaint, we went over to Barefoot by the Sea. This restaurant was on the beach, next to the sea, with no floor other than the sand. There was a large wooden structure built to be a roof, but it had open walls. The sea breeze swept into the pavilion and Aaron and I took off our shoes and played in the sand with our toes. We tried not to think about anything disgusting that may be in the sand, and instead just enjoyed ourselves while we sipped water and looked out over the ocean.





The restaurant had fabulous sculpture all over and was very beautiful in all of its decorations.





There were birds swooping down and trying to steal food from plates that people had abandoned, dragging french fries off into the bushes. There were other birds that just sat on the bushes next to us and sang us a beautiful song.





After our wonderful lunch, we went swimming in the ocean and then spent quite a bit of time at the swim-up bar.





We watched the sun go down over Pigeon Island and at least I thought very romantic thoughts. Who couldn't, when it was as beautiful as it was?



We finished up our wonderful day by eating at this wonderful Italian restaurant. Aaron had his favorite - lasagna bolognese. With our bellies sated, we wandered back to our room where we watched 10,000 BC on cable and then went to sleep.

Don't I look happy?

Labels: marriage, traveling

Jen's Long Winded Version of Events

So there we were, laying on the dusty, dirty floor of the Miami airport. It wasn't quite time to get up yet, and Aaron was still snoring away. I was glancing up at the clock every ten minutes as I flipped through a romance novel (hey, you've got to get in the mood for your honeymoon, you know). Finally four o'clock rolled around, which was when security finally opened back up to let us into our terminal. I nudged Aaron awake, grunted, tried not to get a whiff of my clothes, and we headed over to security. Unfortunately, all the other sleepers (including the ones who stole all the good chairs, darn them) were also awake and waiting at security. Luckily it didn't take too long before we were heading down the very long terminal, to our gate at the very end.

We killed more time and then our flight took off at 6:20. By this point I'd almost been awake for 24 hours, excluding a 15 minute cat nap I'd gotten on that disgusting floor. I was a little punch drunk, to put it lightly. You see, I'm the kind of person that prefers to get 10 hours of sleep a night, and I don't sleep very well in public places. I could make myself sound cool and say it is because I don't feel safe in public places because of my military training, but I think it'd be more accurate to say that I prefer a comfortable bed and quiet.

I had the window seat on all of our flights, because Aaron and I decided that he didn't want the benefit of the window seat considering I'd have the cost of vomiting. I don't do well on the interior of planes, for some reason. It was fortunate that I own the camera and had the window seat, because I got some pretty neat shots as the sun was coming up over the Atlantic Ocean on the way to Puerto Rico. (Go here to see more.)



In my sleep-deprived haze, I thought the clouds were so cool with their vertical stretches. Beneath them, you could see their shadow on the ocean and each individual wave. I stared for quite some time.



Our flight landed in Puerto Rico around 8 am - it was a short hop. We wandered around the tiny little Puerto Rican airport and killed even more time (Aaron slept). Our flight was supposed to leave around noon or so, and we all boarded. After everyone had gotten settled, there was a long pregnant pause. Finally, the captain got on the intercom system, "Well, we seem to have an annunciator light on. We're not sure what's going on here, but we're going to try to solve this problem."

I leaned over and whispered in Aaron's ear, "What is an annunciator light?"

He gave a slight smile, "A warning light."

I sighed.

More minutes went by. "Well, folks, it looks like we're going to have to ask you all to deplane. Make sure to take all of your belongings with you, because we may have to change planes."

We all deboarded and wandered back into the dismal Puerto Rican airport. By this point, I was so tired (awake for 29 hours) that I was starting to get a major case of the grumps. Can't we just hop on a life raft and paddle? That was going through my head as I pondered the fact that I was a short hop from St. Lucia, and yet stuck, and I couldn't get to my room.

An hour and a half passed without news while they tried to figure out what was wrong with our plane. Finally they allowed us to board (the same plane!) again, but Aaron and I were relieved to see a mechanic wandering away holding an old part in his hand.

We arrived on St. Lucia around 4:30 and were whisked away to Sandals, which thankfully was only a 15 minute drive. As soon as we arrived, we were escorted to the concierge lounge and handed two full glasses of champagne. I was a little giddy (and a hell of a lot smelly after being in my warm clothes for almost 36 hours). We spoke with the concierge about the amneties offered by Sandals, and then they gave us a short tour and escorted us to our room.

By this time I was so tired that I could barely walk. I think I was mumbling and drool was escaping from my mouth unnoticed, and I certainly smelled foul. I hopped in the bath as soon as we got to our room and tried not to fall asleep. Aaron grabbed some champagne from the minibar in our room and poured me a glass. I was extremely grateful.

He ordered us some roomservice (free!) and I tried to stay awake to eat it. Apparently, though, after being awake for 35 hours I finally succumbed to the drowsiness and crashed on the couch, folded over a pillow like an infant curled in a womb. (Anyone with young children should understand what I'm describing as it is a standard young child curled-up sleeping position.)

Aaron told me later that housekeeping and room service came in, both of them making loud noises, and I never twitched. I guess I was breathing pretty heavily, as well, although I certainly wasn't snoring... I hope.

I woke up and sat straight up around 11 pm. It must have looked pretty silly, like I'd just snapped awake from a hypnotic state. Aaron mentioned that I'd been talking in my sleep. As soon as he noticed my less-blurred eyes, he indicated that room service had left me some pizza.

I had no idea that I'd crashed - it was almost as if I'd blacked out. I glanced down at the tray and was confused as to how long I'd been sleeping and how room service had come and gone without me even noticing.

By that point, however, I was so hungry that I just didn't care. I gulped down my entire medium hawiian pizza (hey, I'm on vacation!). Later Aaron told me that he'd eaten a cheeseburger and was watching TV while I slept. Soon I finished my pizza.

And finally... finally. I crashed here for another eight hours.



Aaron's Short Version of Events (from when I was passed out)

When we arrived, we had been up and about for about 36 hours. We were guided to the conceirge room where we were served champagne while we checked in. At this point, we could have gone swimming or drinking or anything that our hearts desired, but our hearts were very sleepy so we headed to our room. We quickly surveyed the room service menu, ordered, and settled in. Being the geek I am, I set to work checking out the TV placed at the end of our bed while Jen, being the dork she is, hopped on the couch and started reading all the little pamphlets about hotel operations and excursions and such. (Jen's note: Psst, I am not a dork.)

Before long, I noticed that Jen wasn't saying much. She had curled up around a pillow and PASSED OUT. She never takes naps and she's usually a relatively light sleeper so I figured she would wake up when room service knocked on the door. Well, housekeeping showed up first to turn down our sheets and Jen slept straight through it. The maid was not particularly quiet, snapping sheets straight and such, but Jen never even stirred. Then room service showed up and she placed the tray right on the table in front of Jen. Still NOTHING! She was curled up so sweetly and so deeply asleep that we all just thought it was the cutest thing. I didn't wake her for her food. I figured she would rather eat cold food than wake up any time soon.

Other pictures of our room (please click on pictures for additional commentary and to see them larger, and as always, more are available on Flickr):

Labels: marriage, traveling

Aaron and I looked over at each other. He shook his head, "No."

I sighed. "I have that much room on my credit card."

He looked doubtful, but was listening.

"Here's a list of everything they provide." As I read to him, his expression changed. The list of things that was included in the price - a cake, music, a personal consultant, a professional photographer with 40 digital images and the ability to purchase hundreds more, champagne, an extremely scenic location, and most of all... A wedding. No, not just most of all. Best of all.

They told us that they could do it. They could get us married. Sure, we could get married in Iowa via the JOP. But we didn't want that. We wanted a ceremony and something to remember for the rest of our lives. We have no intentions of there ever being another occasion like this one. We want to get married once, and once only. So - a beautiful wedding or a JOP?

We decided.

On the credit card it went. By now it was about 9:30, and we still hadn't finished packing. The kids weren't ready to go. We had to leave at noon for the Chicago airport.

Hustle, hustle. Aaron and I went into overdrive as we tried to get everything together so that we wouldn't miss our plane. Right before noon, we got the kids dropped off, the paperwork faxed to Fenella to charge our credit card, the contract signed for the wedding service (and faxed), and we'd gotten me a diet coke. I needed it. Bad. After the last 18 hours I'd had, I felt like I was about to go out of my mind.

I sipped on my d-coke (ha! Who am I kidding? That sucker was down in 5 minutes flat), and we drove to Chicago. Four hours. Lots of tollways.

We got to the airport in plenty of time (particularly considering our flight was delayed), and sat around. And around. And around. At about this point, I was very thankful for the 8 or so books I'd made Aaron lug around in his carry-on. (Hey, it was a fair trade. I was lugging his tux and all his shirts as "my carry on.")

At 8:20, our flight took off. The flight was rather uneventful - so much so that I don't even remember what I did. They may have showed us the movie "The Bucket List." I do believe that I saw that movie three times on our way to and from St. Lucia.

We arrived in Miami around 2 am. Unfortunately, our flight didn't leave until 6:20, and the airport was closed. The only food was a rundown-looking Burger King, from which we partook (greedily).

We scouted around for a place to sleep, and couldn't find a good one. At one point, we found this nice comfy looking bench with a three inch cushion. All the good chairs around the airport had already been taken, so we settled down. I was reading while Aaron took a snooze, when all of a sudden I heard this loud, "Ahem." I paused. "AHEM." I looked around.

A man holding a broom made a shooing motion at me, "You can't sleep there miss."

I blinked. "Okay, thanks." I woke Aaron up. We moved over to the next place we could find that didn't seem to have watchful eyes. It was a floor. A dirty, dusty floor. And it was freezing.

By this point, I'd been awake for 19 hours and really wanted to sleep. However, there were people all around us: some talking about their trip to South America, some snoring, others just looking shady. I sneezed and tossed and turned. Then I picked up another book and finished it off while Aaron snored lightly.

I figured that maybe I'd catch a nap on the next plane, but little did I know that I'd be awake for around 35 hours.

Labels: marriage, traveling

Wednesday, June 11th Aaron and I woke up at 7 am. We had a nervous pit in our stomach, and we needed to call Sandals.

The day before, I'd been browsing Sandals's website, checking to make sure we had all of our documentation on us. In order to get married, you have to reside on the island for a certain number of days and you must have your passport and birth certificate. If you've ever been married before and divorced or widowed, you also need documentation on all of that.

While I was double checking I had everything, I noticed a form over on the right side of the screen. Under "commonly used documents," it was labeled "wedding form." I got to thinking in that split second that I had never filled out a wedding form. I'd talked to the wedding hotline a couple times to make sure I had all the correct documentation and the correct room to get the free wedding, and they'd never brought up this form either. Or, at least, not to my recollection. Once I opened it up and started reading, I started to panic.

On the form it mentioned needing a wedding reservation number, and that you had to send your documentation in 60 days before your arrival date.

Oh, crap.

I did not have a wedding reservation number, and I had not sent in any documentation 60 days ahead of time. Panic set in. I called Sandals and was told that the wedding department was closed, but that I could probably still get married as long as they weren't full for all of their available times. The man informed me that I had to call back the next day at 7:30 to talk to the wedding department.

Thus, why Aaron and I were up at 7 am on the day our flight left.

I sat on the couch, wringing my hands and mumbling things under my breath. Sure, Aaron waited until the last second to get a tux. Sure, he waited until the last second to get his wedding ring. Yeah, we weren't sure if he was able to pull off getting either. But here it was, the day we were going to leave. He had his wedding ring, and the tux was getting dropped off before noon. More importantly - look at how I'd screwed up. We might not even get married!

7:30 arrived and I called Sandals. I was told that the wedding department was still closed, and to try back at 8. I nervously sat around for another thirty minutes, waiting for the wedding department to open. Right at 8, I called. I was told that there was no way they would be able to get us in for a wedding. The 60-day deadline was a firm deadline, and they could not get our wedding together in such a time.

So then, my mind racing while I was sobbing on the phone, I asked if there was any way I could get married on the island. The woman sounded very doubtful, "I don't think so." My heart sunk. Then, she said, "But I'll give you the tourism board number. Maybe they can help." After I called the tourism board, and got a list of wedding companies on the island, I started dialing.

We got ahold of two wedding companies. The first said they'd send us some e-mails with information. The second was extremely snotty and told us there was no way they could perform any wedding for less than $1,000, that would be bare bones, and that they would not arrange for us to just have a JOP wedding, because that "just wasn't done on St. Lucia." I hung up feeling pretty dejected, but was waiting for that e-mail to see what we could get.

At 8:30, I had gotten in touch with Fenella at Awesome Caribbean Weddings. She soothed me, told me to stop crying, and that she could help. She sent us e-mails with the wedding location (Pigeon Island), and cost, plus all of the extras like cake and hairstyles and upgrades for bouquets. By now, Aaron and I were frantic thinking about how it'd look if we came back to Iowa and weren't married. We'd been talking about this for a year. We were upset with Sandals because they had never brought it up in our correspondance, it wasn't clear on the brochures and the website, and they had been extremely unhelpful on the phone.

We looked at each other and at the bottom line on the e-mail Fenella sent us. Free wedding via Sandals (not happening) vs. $1500 through Awesome Caribbean Weddings (that we didn't have).

Gulp.

Gulp.

Labels: marriage, traveling

Some people say that having kids will make or break a marriage. The additional stress from having new bodies to take care of, the lack of sleep, the arguing over types of punishment or perhaps whether Johnny will be in tee-ball, and the added financial considerations. Aaron and I have made it past that one as I already had a child when we started dating, and then we had one together. We're still on the track for a wedding in June.

Some people say that finances will end a marriage, that money is one of the biggest things people argue about. After two and a half years, Aaron and I are finally in a position where we rarely argue over money. We've figured out what role each people play in our financial situation, and we've modified it until we're both content. Still getting married in June.

Some people say that an individual person's quirks will make or break the union. I've already covered some of mine in an earlier blog, and I know quite a few of Aaron's after living together for the aforementioned two and a half years. I accept his oddities, and I think he accepts most of mine.

Now, what I think will halt the train on our marriage track is Calculus.

That's right. I said Calculus.

This semester I have taken it upon myself to teach myself Calculus, Classical Mythology, and Intermediate German II. What I didn't tell Aaron before I signed up for these online do-it-yourself courses is that I was going to be pestering him every five minutes, on the verge of tears, yanking my hair out, and wanting to burn my calculus book.

Poor guy.

I sure hope he has the internal fortitude to deal with my whimpering and whining for the next three months. I don't want to lose him over such a ridiculously unimportant math subject. (Well, it's unimportant to me. To my psychology degree, it is of the utmost importance. In fact, I still have to take Calculus II, too. [Hehe, two-too.])

Here's my plea, Aaron. We can make it. We can. I know it'll be hard when we have arguments over weird squiggly line things and areas under curves and limits and... all the other stupid @#%)( things in Calculus. But we're strong. And united. We shall defeat the Calculus monster. Together. Whether you like it or not.

Labels: marriage